A lag of three days, and still no where to start! lol! thats the saga of my addiction! I realize that I am in a habit of continuous munching.. I need something..anytime, all the time in my waking hours..and my activities dont go beyond sitting on a chair in a lecture room to relaxing on my bed..

My stamina to walk has gone down the hill..I mean there is 2 to 3 min walk from the parking lot of my school to the bus that I have to take to go to toronto..and either I take an uphill walk from the outside or climb the stairs..both ways there maybe a minute of uphill walk or 20/30 stairs..and by the time I am up.. I am gasping for air..I mean WTF! What have I done to myself..Is there a way back..how long or how far it would be..

Sometimes I marvel at myself for not giving up in few critical facets of my life..but here I gave into my eating addiction long time back.. I grew up in a family where there was no concept of a small serving size of food..everything was eaten in abundance..Although I was told not to eat since I remember..

When my friends would bring money to buy stuff from the school canteen, I would sit at the side and eat the cold soggy omlate that had a stench by the time I used to get my break..I would hate my lunch..At that time, it  was not comprehendable as to why I cant eat what others can have..

I resorted to a new means to relieve my insecurities..I started taking out money from my parents wallets..I still remember the name of the chocholate I would buy..Super snap I believe..lol..until one day i was caught..My mother would always keep a check on my daily diet..and I would never understand why is that so important..I had grown up seeing them eating without inhibtions:P and I pretty much wanted to continue the same..

I dont remember the last time I felt beautiful..In my early teens I was this gal who was unaware of good looks or personality..I dont know if it didnt matter or I was not allowed to maintain myself in a certain way..but I guess I had compromised with my surroundings..then had this big religious dive..where I completely forsake everything..hehe..not to imply that my religion advocates that..but it was just my own interpretation and representation..! My mom happens to be a graceful lady who can maintain herself pretty well..and that impact would show on me when I would attend my family gatherings but my freinds and classfellows always saw the other side of me..and I was happy about it..my weight was on the rise..by the time I did my A levels, I was about 84 kgs..My mom told me that the only way she would let me wear a sari is if I lose weight..I lost 14 pounds in 16 days..worked out like crazy..and starved myself to the point where I was having a boiled egg in a day..but in few weeks I was back to my diet..though as I maintained working for next 4/5 months my weight stayed between 70 to 75kilos..

and Then I moved to canada..and from september 2005 to January 2010, I have gained atleast more than 30 kgs! Eff! thats huge!

anyways, enough of the blabbering..let me present my very small but first milestone..

1-No junk food from outside! I havent had Mcdonalds junk burgers in three days despite the fact that I was working there. I stuck to the salads which were quite delicious too!;) 

2-I have to stop eating high calorie foods at home, and this is the biggest obsatacles besides having to move my ass to burn my calories:P

I saw a video of gal three nights back, and somehow she touched me very profoundly..Here is what she said..ahhhh I love her now!

A New Life Resolution: Weight loss!

Welcome everyone! This is the start of my new life! So you betta watch it! :D
I pledge to gain back my lost figure, confidence, determination, and most importantly, my relationships in the weeks to come...Its been years and years since I felt young and beautiful..lol..Seems ironic if I say this at the age of 24? But let me tell you guys. I am going to gain back everything I lost by the time I turn 25! Ouch! Thats way too early, since its only seven months before the devil hits the mark! So what am I waiting for? Lets get restarted babyyeehh! :D

So what is the plan ahead??? Hmm..To be honest, I am still working on it, as I type this one..
but maybe I will add up the rules of the game as we go. For now, most important thing is to get my fat ass moving!

So what does this blog mean to me, or to anyone who maybe reading it in any (improbable) case..
1- Its a log for my daily eating and exercise activities
2- Its going to keep a chronological details of how fast (or slow) the pace of my weightloss is
3- Its there to motivate me to keep pushing
4- It will also be a review site to analyse various weight loss strategies
5- Its a means to get my loved one back! No! They didn't leave me! I got away from them sometimes consciously, sometimes unconsciously.
6- Its a psychological perspective of what goes on in a mind of an obese person..the insecurities, the challenges, the release modes..!

and alot more..

Just tip your head back! and fasten your seat belts! The ride maybe bumpy, uncomfortable, sick and unsettling..but don't you dare forget what lays at the end of it! So lo and behold! Let the fight begin! :D